From economist Walter Williams’ piece in the latest issue of Imprimis:

In a free society, we want the great majority, if not all, of our relationships to be voluntary. I like to explain a voluntary exchange as a kind of non-amorous seduction. Both parties to the exchange feel good in an economic sense. Economists call this a positive sum gain. For example, if I offer my local grocer three dollars for a gallon of milk, implicit in the offer is that we will both be winners. The grocer is better off because he values the three dollars more than the milk, and I am better off because I value the milk more than the three dollars. That is a positive sum gain. Involuntary exchange, by contrast, means that one party gains and the other loses. If I use a gun to steal a gallon of milk, I win and the grocer loses. Economists call this a zero sum gain. And we are like that grocer in most of what Congress does these days.

Some will respond that big government is what the majority of voters want, and that in a democracy the majority rules. But America’s Founders didn’t found a democracy, they founded a republic. The authors of The Federalist Papers, arguing for ratification of the Constitution, showed how pure democracy has led historically to tyranny. Instead, they set up a limited government, with checks and balances, to help ensure that the reason of the people, rather than the selfish passions of a majority, would hold sway. Unaware of the distinction between a democracy and a republic, many today believe that a majority consensus establishes morality. Nothing could be further from the truth.

After weeks of thought, I have settled on the following social media policy:

I will do my best to be polite and productive while using social media, but I can’t promise anything.

Thank you for reading.

1. Chattanooga is relatively small.

2. We have a plethora of mediocre acts, and many acts—especially many of our better acts—simply play too often.

3. Chattanoogans are spoiled by many, many free shows.

4. We live close to Atlanta, Nashville, Knoxville, and Birmingham—cities Chattanoogans are willing to travel to in order to see acts they REALLY want to see. They also often save their money for these trips, which means they are not spending it to see shows in town.

5. People find better entertainment options at home.

(This post was partially inspired by Hellcat’s article in last week’s issue of the Chattanooga Pulse.)

I originally wanted to post all of this on Twitter. While I was filling it out, however, I realized that my responses would have taken numerous tweets to reproduce, which some folks (myself included) can find annoying. So I decided to just post it all here…

Anyway, here are my responses to the survey:

What do you like about the Chattanooga region?

• Relative affordability.

• Appealing topography.

• A predominantly optimistic and youthful attitude.

• Legitimate potential.

• All of my stuff is here.

Imagine the best possible Chattanooga region. Describe it.

• An unflinching, region-wide dedication to honesty and transparency.

• Fewer excuses.

• Fewer boards and non-profits.

• Less talk, more rock.

• Thicker skins.

What challenges must be addressed?

• Lower-income folks must be inspired to succeed.

• Crime must be reduced and morals emphasized.

• Local government must be scaled back in terms of size, spending, and reach.

• Reward and praise should be the result of talent, good ideas, determination, and hard work — not identity, fear, blackmail, overblown hype, or other questionable items.

What actions, big or small, can you take to help?

• I will work hard to provide for my family and raise my kids to be honest, respectful people.

• I will pay attention.

• I will help others.

• I will cause trouble.

• I will pray for our city.

Feel free to comment.

Kate was born at 10:43 a.m. on Monday, August 24.
She weighed 8 pounds, 13 ounces, and was 20 1/2 inches long.
We are all doing great and Sam LOVES his new baby sister!

The last time Adrian Belew played Chattanooga, the rhythm section of his power trio consisted of two bald dudes (Mike Hodges and Mike Gallaher) who successfully aided the Lone Rhino in tearing up the Nightfall stage. Both were experienced players: Gallaher, an accomplished jazz guitarist, switched to bass to play with Belew, and Hodges was the drummer when Belew was the music director on (yes) David Bowie’s “Sound and Vision” tour. They were fantastic both that night and a few nights later when I drove down to see them play in Atlanta. If I had never seen another Adrian Belew Power Trio show, I would have been satisfied.

Fast forward a couple of years: Gallaher and Hodges eventually left Belew and were replaced by a brother and sister rhythm section, Julie and Eric Slick, both in their early 20’s, both graduates of Paul Green’s School of Rock, and both ridiculously talented. The new band’s first recorded effort, 2007’s live Side Four, is a testament to how quickly the new trio jelled. It is also a testament to another fact: As great as Hodges and Gallaher were, they were, in essence, Belew’s backing band. The longer the Slick’s have played with Belew, the more evident it’s become that they are, well, a bit more than that. The strength of their collective contribution to the band was probably best summed up by my buddy Joe Lance (a great musician in his own right) when the trio played Riverbend last night, “When Adrian eventually hangs it up, those two will still have a long, long career ahead of them.”

The trio kicked off their 115-minute Riverbend performance with ripping versions of “Writing on the Wall” and “Young Lions” before Belew introduced some new music, two “movements,” titled “A” and “B,” from the forthcoming all-instrumental album, E. The two pieces contained many elements common to Belew’s previous work: feedback, ferocious bent notes, smart and irresistibly gorgeous chord progressions, and layer upon layer of Crimson-esque interlocking guitar parts, all of which Belew played by himself by creating—and then playing along with—a dizzying series loops. And the Slicks more than kept up. They pushed Belew’s already envelope-pushing ideas forward by either deftly doubling his riffs or aggressively soloing against them. In all honesty, I can’t remember when I’ve been more knocked out by a single song or performance.

The rest of the show was full of highlights, too. While Adrian fiddled with a pesky pedal before the band launched into “Beat Box Guitar,” Eric put on a mini drum clinic. Julie was seamless all night transitioning between different bass styles. (I think the jury is still out as to which Slick was more slick.) Also, the inclusion of “Color Futurevision” took on particular significance in light of the tragic shooting at the Holocaust Museum in Washington, D.C., earlier in the day.

Towards the end of the show, a middle-aged man, who appeared to already have enjoyed several beers, approached Joe and myself, asking if we were familiar with the band’s material. When I answered that I was, he asked if he was going to play any Crimson songs, offering in a quite disappointed tone, “Well, he has to at least play ’21st Century Schizoid Man.’”

I would suggest that this guy just doesn’t get it. While they did contribute playful versions of King Crimson classics, “Dinosaur” and “Three of a Perfect Pair,” it’s quite obvious this band does not exist just to “play the hits.” They exist to push boundaries and leave an indelible mark.

Just like “Schizoid Man” did.

Setlist:
Writing on the Wall
Young Lions
“A” (from the upcoming album, E)
“B” (from the upcoming album, E)
Dinosaur
Beat Box Guitar
Of Bow and Drum
Color Futurevision
Three of a Perfect Pair
“E” (from the upcoming album, E)

A few thoughts. Do with them what you wish.

1. Riverbend is a bargain.
Even if there are only a couple of acts that you want to see, the $28 (until yesterday) or $37 (from today on) pin prices are more than reasonable for the number and quality of acts scheduled to appear over the course of the festival. And while the $23 you have to pay to get a single-day wristband is a little high, considering Alejandro Escovedo (appearing at this year’s festival) charged between $22.50 and $25 for a recent Atlanta gig at Eddie’s Attic, it is by no means excessive.

2. But…
…while Riverbend is a bargain, it is also too long. Riverbend has always felt about two days longer than it should be. Stretching it out too long has resulted in a few truly questionable bookings. For example, the Commodores without Lionel Richie do not need to exist, period, let alone be booked as one of the festival’s main stage acts. They just don’t. In short, we need fewer acts and more original members.

3. But what about the downtown businesses? Don’t they suffer during Riverbend?
Yes, some do. Others don’t. While most of the current downtown hotspots moved in long after Riverbend staked its claim to Ross’s Landing, that doesn’t necessarily mean they should be forced to suffer a slow week. I don’t know. I don’t really have a solution to this one. Creative marketing is one possible solution, I suppose.

If you are really worried about how, say, your favorite restaurant might fare during the festival, go eat there. If you’re going to the festival before or after you eat, chances are the food will be better than the overpriced and underwhelming offerings you’ll find within the gates. And contrary to popular opinion, it’s also rather easy to find parking downtown during the festival. You might have to walk a couple extra blocks, but hey, the weather’s nice, and if you’re like me, you could use the exercise.

4. Riverbend Bingo. Sigh…
This was funny the first 600 times. While the staggering amount of mullets, wife beaters, and jorts is a sight to behold, the reason we all seem so enamored with these physical and fashion oddities is because they all are found in one place at the same time. You know where else they can all be found in one place at the same time? All over our area, every day. While I know you’d love to dream it away, this is where we live, my precious, young, urban intelligentsia. Take a chance. Reach out. Make a friend.

5. My pick? (Surprise!) The Adrian Belew Power Trio.
Lastly, a quick plug: My favorite musician on the planet returns to Chattanooga with Eric and Julie Slick, his otherworldly, brother-and-sister “School of Rock” alumni rhythm section. The fact that they go on right after the Shani Hedden Group (featuring Joe Lance) is just gravy. Here’s a taste of the trio’s particular splendor:

For those of you who haven’t heard, we are moving into a brand new house in Rossville, Georgia.

To say we’re excited is a major understatement.

(Lo-res shot taken with my cell phone camera.)

Blind Lemon Jefferson
Third Degree Burns
Clarence Gatemouth Brown
Mean Cell Hemoglobin
Mississippi John Hurt
Fish Tank Granuloma
Hound Dog Taylor
Smelly Stools
Blind Boy Fuller
Double Balloon Endoscopy
Lightnin’ Hopkins
Baby Bottle Tooth Decay
T-Bone Walker
Cauliflower Ear
Muddy Waters
Deep Vein Thrombosis

A mere 16 months after our collaboration on a new version of “The East Ridge Song,” Ernie Paik and I have finished recording a new track. “(Take Me to a) Chain Restaurant,” a mid-tempo country anthem extolling the virtues of corporate dining, is easily the most countrified thing either of us have ever recorded — except for Ernie’s redonkulous keyboard solo, which, in my opinion, more than makes up for my pitchy drawl…

Listen to the song here.

(Song info and lyrics after the jump.)

“(Take Me to a) Chain Restaurant”

Words and Music by Bill Colrus
Produced by Bill Colrus and Ernie Paik
Engineered By Ernie Paik at Ernie’s home studio

Bill Colrus: Vocals, Rhythm Guitar, Drums, Percussion
Ernie Paik: Lead Guitar, Bass, Keyboards

Lyrics:

I can find one near the mall or highway
They don’t mind fixin’ my food my way
When it’s Friday night, I’m hungry, and I just got paid

I give ‘em my name, they gimme a beeper
Their food’s so good, I’ll wait an hour to eat here
‘Cuz when I see that plate, I know I got it made

Take me to a chain restaurant
Every one’s the same from Atlanta to Vermont
They all know my name and what I want
Take me to a chain restaurant

I don’t like food that’s complicated
I like my menus laminated
And a friendly face to bring my steak and refill my tea

I don’t need no fancy recipes
Or some snotty looks from a snooty maitre d’
Gonna let that home cookin’ get the best of me

Take me to a chain restaurant
Every one’s the same from Atlanta to Vermont
They all know my name and what I want
Take me to a chain restaurant

Take me to a chain restaurant
Every one’s the same from Miami to Utah
They all know my name and what I want
Take me to a chain restaurant

O’Charley’s, Chili’s, Applebee’s
I love to eat at any o’ these
Logan’s, Cracker Barrel, Red Lobster
I’m ready to go. Just say the word…